Dear Ravon, We humans Don’t need to understand humans.God came and became flesh in order to purify us through faith.Whatever hardship that you are enduring, there is eventually an end.When you are fully surrendered to God, then you can starve to death or let your flesh rot right off your bones, be wrongfully imprisoned,beaten and martyred for your Lords’ sake. The main thing is seperation from the world,and protecting your temple(body and mind).Satan attacks in the most subtle ways.Allow Jesus Christ into your mind and consciousness.Watch out for chemicals that create swings in mood like caffeine, nicotine,heroin, and cocaine, as they are all alkaloids and have a direct affect on the brain.Withdrawal from stimulants cause depression.God your creator wants you to know more about him.God loves you.If you were the only person that needed salvation he would have paid the price just for you.Suicidal is exactly the state of mind that you need to surreder your life to Christ.Ravon, I urge you this day to die unto your flesh and be born of spirit in Christ Jesus.One day this life will be over and your King will ask what have you done.Take authority over your own mind by the power that is in the name of Jesus,and let us know what we don’t understand so that we can go to the throne of grace to our heavenly father and stand together to receive this victory.Praise to God.